Hello readers! I’m a hater, and I hate things all day long. One of the things I hate most days is The Listserve. You may or may not be aware, but The Listserve is this huge emailing list that randomly chooses one person to send an email to it every day. The idea is beautiful: what would you say to a million people if you had the chance?
The answer, it seems, is nothing. Infuriating, vacuous nothing. Recall every pointless “inspirational” quote on every tacky mug, fridge magnet or keyring you’ve ever seen in your life and pass it on. Tell people to love themselves, to stay positive, follow their dreams. Or just talk about yourself, you asshole.
I present this tragic parade of entitled, self-absorbed spam to you here, dear readers. Let us all respond with the whirling torrent of hatred they so deserve.