Valuable lesson #9: Child sexual abuse is hilarious.

July 7, 2012 § Leave a comment

A recommendation, a funny story and some advice.
Posted on July 6, 2012

Hello World,
1. If you’re unfamiliar with Neil DeGrasse Tyson, please look him up. You will learn you are not only a part of the Universe, but ARE the Universe.
2. A friend recently told me this was his favourite story. I spent my 20s working in a school for children with various special needs. Twice a year we would take some of them to an outdoor adventure centre where we would climb, tunnel, drive quad-bikes etc. It was awesome. And very dirty. Hence we would shower the kids every night.
One boy I worked with, who was about 8, had various digestive medical conditions that resulted in him wearing a nappy and often suffering discomfort. At the end of one day he was in a toilet cubicle both undressing for his shower and using the facilities. Suddenly he called out to me, in a lot of distress, that his bottom was stinging (This is not the funny part!). I hurried him into the shower and rinsed him down with water relieving him of his agony. He was very thankful and continued to shower as normal.
Many weeks later, I was helping out in his classroom when out of the blue, he said to me “Do you remember when you were in the shower with me and I was crying because my bottom hurt?”
3. Don’t feel bad that you don’t know what you’re doing sometimes. No one does. We are all making it up as we go.

Yours,
Dan

“I am the universe, child anal rape is hilarious and even though you’re less useful than a turd in this world, other people are too! So it’s absolutely A-OK. Don’t feel bad. For the love of God, don’t ever feel bad.”
-Dan

NB: Around 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 7 boys is a victim of child sexual abuse. On an email list of 20,000 people a very coarse estimate of 3900 people have been victims. And this guy sends out a joke about how the insinuation of child rape is a “funny story”. Way to go, Dan. You’re a champ.

(It’s becoming apparent that humanity uses our internet-enabled mass communication, 1st: to notice how most people are at best useless and at worst disgusting. And 2nd: to reassure itself that this is okay and not a crisis in need of immediate remedy)

Valuable lesson #8: Some guy in Silicon Valley thinks you should love capitalism.

July 6, 2012 § Leave a comment

we are a product of our own insecurities

Posted on July 5, 2012

Don’t worry, this won’t be one of those love yourself emails…although you should be doing that already. I would like introduce myself as Mr. Realist. I am not particularly religious, I just believe in things I see. I believe in capitalism and have encountered enough people to see that most people act in their own self-interest. I am not a hater or a pessimist; again, I am just a realist.

So how did I get this way? I am not sure. There are so many questions, yet so little time to find the answers. I don’t understand many things but I am intensely curious. Many people I come across rather know nothing and be happy rather than to know everything and be slightly bitter. It is hard for me to understand this but as always, I respect the viewpoint. Why not try to understand the world for all its intricacies?

I love life. I am privileged to work and live in a very progressive environment. It is mind bending to think how far we have come as a society in such short period of time. We are tolerant and accepting as a majority, but then again, I live in a bubble. Individuality is ripping from the seams of conformity. We are breaking into our own unique mold, yet unite as a whole.

As far as parting advice, be honest to yourself and be honest to others. Surround yourself with people that love and support you.

Love always,

Mr. R
Silicon Valley, USA

“Me me me. I have never heard of economic determinism, I really fucking love money and am almost certainly a white male. Marginalised groups have made some limited and hard-won gains in society, well done everyone! Especially me.”
– Mr. R

Valuable lesson #7: Resist acknowledging your mistakes.

July 6, 2012 § Leave a comment

TCZA

Posted on July 4, 2012

Today is the perfect day to eat ice cream for breakfast. Gather your family for a dance party in the kitchen. Take a road trip to the mountains for a picnic. Sing your favorite song at the top of your lungs while you air guitar naked in front of the mirror. Today is someone’s birthday, call them and sing Happy Birthday them. They deserve something more special then a Facebook comment. Invite your friends over for cocktails and karaoke. Build a fort with your kids in the back yard. Tell them about the moon and explore the stars. Live your life with many mistakes and no regrets. Never join the grown ups. The world will laugh at you. The trick is to laugh first and laugh the loudest. And tonight as you sit around your dining room table with your family or friends tell them you love them. Because the zombie apocalypse is coming and…. you are going to have to kill them.

Mylissa

“Never regret any bad things you’ve done, remain undeveloped and infantile. Re-enact as many after school specials as possible and wallow in ignorant happiness like pigs in a first world trough.”
– Mylissa

Valuable lesson #6: Rich people seriously do not give a fuck.

July 6, 2012 § Leave a comment

A Few Of My Favourite Things
Posted on July 2, 2012

1) Travel! I’ve visited London, Rome, Nairobi, BVI, Bahamas, Jamaica (7x), Tahiti, Mexico, The Yucatan Peninsula, Cayman Islands, and Paris. Living like locals, making friends & pen pals.

2) Photography! I love to photograph people, architecture, plants & animals etc. so much so that I’ve made my passion my “business”.

3) Dump Cake: You need: 1.5 sticks of melted butter, 1 can of cherry pie filling, 1 can of crushed pineapple, 1 box of white cake mix (unprepared), a handful (or 2) of brown sugar, Optional: coconut & walnuts to taste. Preheat oven to 350 degrees, open & dump can of crushed pineapple in a 9×13 inch dish. Spread evenly. Repeat with the cherry pie filling. Open box of cake mix & pour over the fruit. Pour melted butter as evenly as possible over the top of cake mix. Sprinkle a brown sugar over top and finish with coconut & walnuts to taste. Into the oven for 25-30 minutes or until top is golden & bubbly. Eat warm & with vanilla ice cream!

Hope you enjoy my favorite things. Let me know some of your favorite things & if you decide to try the dump cake!

Your new friend,

Shannon

“I have had the means to travel the world and earn a living with my hobby, and I like cake. Be my friend so I can tell you more about myself.”
– Shannon

Valuable lesson #5: Graduate wants a job.

July 6, 2012 § Leave a comment

Posted on July 1, 2012
Hello Everyone!

Somewhere, in this crowd of 20 000 people, is someone who believes I
can be an important asset to them. I am just finishing my second year
as a Nanotechnology Engineering student at the University of Waterloo,
and I am looking for 4-8 months of co-op work starting in September.
My work experience so far includes nuclear reactor design for the GEN
IV Nuclear Reactor Project, Jr Project Manager for the opening of a
state of the art chemical engineering wetlab facility, and the
development of a line of industrial chain lubricants for a small
Ontario-based lubrication company.

This chance to speak to all of you is a unique opportunity to make a
direct request to 20 000. Send me an email, and lets talk about how
we can help each other. I would love to know how I can help you, in
any capacity. Send me an email and ask me any questions you have. I
will provide as much information as I can, and hopefully this will
lead to an important, mutually beneficial relationship.

Best Regards,

Jon

“I’m doing a cool degree, give me a job”
– Jon

(another selfish douche, but I can respect this a bit)

Valuable lesson #4: This guy’s education was a scam.

July 6, 2012 § Leave a comment

Insight
Posted on June 29, 2012

When I first signed up for The Listserve some time ago I was full of skepticism, hopes and delusion. Then the projects started and I started to receive email after email; Beautiful words forming advice, tips and precautions that everyone really should take part of. Irregardless of it’s purpose – it is fun hearing about other people.

Myself, I am some what of a metaphorically half-blind Sherlock Holmes and have some academic background in everything human. What I would like to add is some, although paradoxical, insight into the human condition. The problem, as I see it with most things in life, is that 99% of people never ever – listen – to – advice. You have your life and live it by the understanding your experiences have shaped over time. It takes a unique openness and self control – insight – to actually adapt your life to things you have not yet realized yourself.

Be aware!
Adam

“What I’m about to tell you is the result of really smart academic inquiry and deep insight: My advice is to listen to advice. You’re listening? Okay good. No, that was it. What?”
– Adam

Valuable lesson #3: Mediocrity is okay.

July 6, 2012 § Leave a comment

It’s Okay
Posted on June 28, 2012

I thought long and hard, perhaps just long, about what to write. And of course I procrastinated to the point where I almost wondered if I’d missed my window to write to the list. You sign up, and you know intellectually that someday you’ll have to write to everyone, but you figure it will be ages away. You’ll have time to think of something.

And then it appears in your inbox asking to speak to hundreds of people. Some of whom will read and smile. And some of whom will think you’re a blithering idiot. And some will think you have something interesting to say. And some will delete it without reading. And some won’t understand.

And it’s okay.
It’s okay not to be read. It’s okay not to have everything work out as you planned. It’s okay not to be liked by everyone.
It’s okay. It’s okay to be ordinary and not one of the ones winning awards and being on the news and doing Great Things ™.
I’m only about a week away from turning 40 years old. An age that sits solidly in what most consider middle age. Ancient to the 20 somethings and younger, in the prime of life to those already there and past. I’m not concerned with getting older. I enjoy the experience, the knowledge, the gift of being able to say that I’m closer to a half century of existence than not.
But I haven’t done anything spectacular. I haven’t devoted my life to curing childhood cancer. I’m not a famous politician or entertainer. I’m not a stunning businessman or scientist. I’m just fairly ordinary.
And that’s okay.
I have a calm life, one that is creative and interesting. One that doesn’t make for a good answer to that question of ‘what’s new?’ or ‘what do you do?’ at parties, but one that leaves me generally content.
And that’s okay.
So dream big, Do All The Things, but it’s /okay/ if that Big Dream is something little and not earth shattering. There’s nothing wrong with content.
Take good care of yourself, and remember that Life is Good.

Jazmin

“Since my material needs are met, I needn’t worry about having contributed little (if anything at all) to the rest of humanity, and neither should you.”
– Jazmin